Happy (Late) Birthday To Me

So, guess who's 20 years old now? Yeah. Last Wednesday (my OG posting day lol) which was June 11th was my birthday. I was told that day that I am “no longer a teenager” and that really hit home for some reason. I guess it's because I dislike seeing things as endings – because the end usually tends to be sad more often than not – and that's exactly what turning 20 is: an ending. It's the end of teenage rebellion, teen angst, teen heartbreak, teen – everything. For the past what? Like 6 years? I've been a teenager and now suddenly, I'm just not. Quite obviously this doesn't mean that my life is suddenly majorly or significantly different; I mean I haven't been thrust into some sort of ~adulthood and expected to roll with the punches, you know? But still – now I'm officially in my twenties, more of a young adult if anything, and things are definitely meant to start changing. I get to now experience all those twenty-somethings' pains of college/job/life. I get to experience life from a new viewpoint. I mean, here in PR you're legally an adult at 18 so not much in that sense will change, but rather in how I guess my trajectory should be seen. I mean, I know there's no “adult button/switch” or whatever where I'm now suddenly a grownup and I know how to do grownup things and have the answer to grownup problems – but I guess what I mean is, there comes a point where you have to stop and realize that you can no longer carry on with life with your level of knowledge and maturity; which means it's up to you to make an effort to grow, to learn more, to do better, to be better than who you were in your past. I don't know, maybe I'm just rambling on and on without making much sense. I guess the point I'm trying to get across is that this birthday is bittersweet – because I can no longer claim that I'm in my teens, that I'm still at that point. But also, it means that I can start claiming something new and different. So maybe, turning 20 is also a beginning. And guess what? I happen to like beginnings. -SF

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